Peer assessing "I feel pretty" and "This girl can" advert

	Extract	WWW	EBI	What terminology or theories could have been	Rewritten version (chose one of the exemplars)
Exemplar 1	In the ‘I Feel Pretty’ advert the protagonist Maria Sharapova is solely empowered via a series of close ups and mid shots where shallow focus and tracks are used in order to keep the audiences’ attention on her. As well as all of the other actors’ are watching her as they all sing the song. Eye line matches are used to show that the actors are watching the protagonist throughout. This empowers the protagonist, as she is a young woman receiving everyone’s attention even that of the advert’s John McEnroe whose appearance is significant due to his famous tennis profile as an angry and foul-tongued sportsman.	- Lots of media terminology used.	- Describe in detail what is happening in each scene (add more specific examples) -Add more detailed explanation of what effects the different media techniques create – more analysis - link to different theories - link to feminism	Hook- feminism is a struggle for woman and a political commitment.	Exemplar – 3 Through the use of a crosscut we recognise that Sharapova has changed her costume from a white costume to her chosen dress. The dress is another symbol of femininity. This reinforces the fact that women are expected to look appealing and be attractive. The props used are also effective as she is also shown wearing jewelry: necklace and earrings. This is evident in the beginning and end of the advert. This highlights how women are expected to spend time in trying looking their best, and should look appealing to men. This supports Van Zoonen’s theory that the display of women’s bodies as objects to be looked at is a core element of the western society. The use of an over-the-shoulder shot and handheld camera shot allows us to notice it, as they highlight they clearly show what she is wearing and highlight her attractive figure. However, in the This Girl Can jewelry isn’t noticeable as their unique selling point was to put forward that woman can do anything and that women are strong, determined and fierce. This supports the success of feminism and how it has progressed and gained attention throughout all the three feminist waves. The idea of the women in the advert being strong is evident in the head on shot with a girl boxing. Boxing is known to be a physical sport, mainly dominated by males, however, this shot take disapproves that ideology. The idea of the woman being focused and determined is clear in Sharapova’s advert. Many close-ups show her facial expressions. Her facial expression gives the impression that she is completely ‘zoned in’ and focus, as she is staring straight ahead and looking at her “target”. One could suggest the music and the over exaggerated singing are distractions for Sharapova, as they are repetitive and keep on saying “I feel pretty”. However, the fact that she doesn’t notice or acknowledge everyone singing further emphasises that idea that she is focused, and suggest that women should not concentrate on their looks but on their skills and abilities. This can be seen as she strongly hits the ball. This can be seen as supporting hook’s theory that feminism is a struggle to end sexism, as she is trying to ignore the fact that everyone is looking at her looks rather than her abilities. She is concentrating on her sport and ignoring the singing. A zoom and slow motion is used to show the woman struggling but carrying on in the This Girl Can advert. This references the title ‘This Girl Can’ and refers to the voice over, which is meant to be motivated. The idea of struggles is evident in the Sharapova advert. We see a constant struggle for Sharapova as she’s constantly being bombarded by the paparazzi when she’s in the car and when she’s entering the arena. There’s a track to represent the paparazzi following her, which gives the audience an idea of how hard and how public life is. This is shown to challenge Zoonen’s theory that men are the ones strong and powerful, as women in this advert are represented as strong and powerful, getting past challenges and achieving their goals.
Exemplar 2	This Girl Can advert encourages women to support each other. A long shot captures women in the ad hugging each other. This suggests that one aim of the ad is to unite females. A sound technique that further supports this point is diegetic sound. In the changing room, the woman’s rugby team can be heard chanting. This suggests that the director wants women to work together as one. Therefore, this ad can be seen as a response to the jealousy we typically see from women nowadays like in the Nike Advert. Both adverts show that women can be more than just “pretty”. In the two adverts we see the over-the-shoulder show being used to show the women putting their make-up on. In the Nike ad sound techniques and camera techniques reveal that people are surprised by Sharapova’s tennis ability. When she returns the serve the camera does a whip pan. Commonly a whip pan suggests that the camera was surprised by the activity. In addition, from the diegetic sound, we can hear the crowd is silenced by her shot.	- Media terminology is used and different relevant points are made.	- Add more specific examples - link to theories - link back to feminism	Hook – feminism is a political commitment Feminism is a struggle for woman
Exemplar 3	Through the use of a crosscut we recognize that Sharapova has changed her costume from a white costume to her chosen dress. The dress is another symbol of femininity. She is also shown wearing jewelry: necklace and earrings. This is evident in the beginning and end of the advert. The use of an over-the-shoulder shot and handheld camera shot allows us to notice it. However, in the This Girl Can jewelry isn’t noticeable as their unique selling point was to put forward that woman can do anything and that women are strong, determined and fierce. This supports the success of feminism and how it has progressed and gained attention throughout all the three feminist waves. The idea of the women in the advert being strong is evident in the head on shot with a girl boxing. Boxing is known to be a physical sport, mainly dominated by males, however, this shot take disapproves that ideology. The idea of the woman being focused and determined is clear in Sharapova’s advert. Many close-ups show her facial expressions. Her facial expression gives the impression that she is completely ‘zoned in’ and focus. One could suggest the music and the over exaggerated singing are distractions for Sharapova. However, the fact that she doesn’t notice or acknowledge everyone singing further emphasises that idea that she is focused. A zoom and slow motion is used to show the woman struggling but carrying on in the This Girl Can advert. This references the title ‘This Girl Can’ and refers to the voiceover, which is meant to be motivated. The idea of struggles is evident in the Sharapova advert. We see a constant struggle for Sharapova as she’s constantly being bombarded by the paparazzi when she’s in the car and when she’s entering the arena. There’s a track to represent the paparazzi following her, which gives the audience an idea of how hard and how public life is.	-        Clearly linked to feminism -        Analysis done in detail	-        Link to theory -          -	Hall- stereotyping as a form of representation reduces people to a few simple characteristics or traits
Exemplar 4	In the “This Girl Can” advert uses a different approach instead of showing how much of an inspiration one woman –Maria Sharapova – is, they decide to show how inspirational all types of women can be. They successfully achieve this through a montage. This montage shows women sweating and smiling. This connotes to us that they have been partaking in activities. This shows us that there’s no longer the restrictions that there once were surrounding women and sport. Also, during this montage there was a range of women. There were white women, black women, Muslim women and a disabled woman. This connotes to the audience that there isn’t one type of woman that isn’t capable of partaking in sports. This is helped through the narrator’s use of direct address, “and your great grandmother”. This direct address is used to try and inspire and add a personal side to the advert. In this montage, Judith Butler’s gender performativity theory is present. This theory states that when you were younger, society made you act a certain ways, the way that your gender is ‘supposed to act’. However, as you grow up, you start to act independently and in a way you think you should act. The examples of this come through with girls with short/shaved hair, a stereotypically male thing.	-        clear detailed explanation and analysis of the different point made -        Well linked to Butler’s theory	-        Add different techniques used which reinforce this point, and what they connote. -        Link to stereotypes	- hall –stereotyping tends to occur when there are inequalities of power, as subordinate or excluded groups are constructed as different or other- eg through ethnocentrism,
Exemplar 5	In the beginning of the “I Feel Pretty” advert, van Zoonen’s theory that women’s bodies are objectified is displayed as Maria Sharapova looks directly into the mirror. A medium shot is used to show the audience Maria trying to put on a serious look, so dhe feels confident, which may enable her to win the match. This is very typical of a woman to do looking at the mirror so that they feel nice and beautiful, because in reality sport stars like Maria Sharapova will be judged on their appearance more than men, so this pressures women to look nice and presentable. There is a voiceover that says “well she should win,” this is referring back to sharapova that there is an expectation to win the game so in order for her to feel confident and have the greater possibility to win she has to psych herself up. Butler and van Zoonen’s theory are linked in the part of the advert whre the audoience see Sharapova walking in the corridor and a cleaner is standing there singing. The use of the long shot used shows the height difference, which may emphasise the status difference for example Sharapova is taller than the lady, this may have been presented to show the audience how important Sharapova is and the ordinary lady who works as a cleaner has no importance. Also, Sharapova’s costume is very tight fitted on her body, which exposes a bit of cleavage and stomach this links to Butler’s theory that woman and men have to wear and act certain things as well as that van Zoonen says women’s bodies are seen as objects. Sharapova is dressed that way so we can see how her costume brings out her well worked out bodt. Also, it may influence her to show off some skin, as the media often portrays women as objects and to label women who show off a bit of skin and cleavage as sexy, but women who dress more conservatively as boring.	- Clearly linked to Van Zoonen’s and Butler’s theory.	-        Add more specific examples describing what is seen in each scene and what is created. -        Say what the voice over is saying -        Include what theory can this advert be seen challenging	-        Van Zoonen – women’s bodies are seen as objects -        -Butler’s – men and women have to wear certain clothes and say certain things in order to be accepted by today’s society.
Exemplar 6	In the second advert ‘This Girl Can’ tries to convey to the audience the diversity that women have gained. The visuals of the advert are colourful and eyecatching there are many close ups of their facial expressions. They are seen to be cheerful. This could be linked to the fact women have a lot more opportunities in society and are able to do what make them happy. In this advert they are embracing what women are capable to doshowing the maternal side and the sporty side that a woman can possess. One camare movement is tracking as they follow the characters when they are taking part in an activity.	- good analysis	- link to different theories and add more terminology	van zones - gender is constructed